When Naomi Met Buddy

Naomi just finished a writing assignment, it was too cute to not post.  The goal was to write freely about an experience that was life changing.  Love my little humorist.

Head-aches, Hatred and Hot Weather

806 awesome words

Thanks a lot God! The one day I have to sit in this ALL READY stuffy house you make it break 100. I can feel my head spinning. It’s almost like one of those cartoons; you know when those irritating little birds fly around the characters head until their eyes come un-crossed. Well, it feels like one of those is pecking at my forehead…repeatedly.


I stare at the dizzying brown carpet and the sound of those aggravating NASCAR announcers interrupt my thoughts. All though, the buzz of the suspicious looking fan in the corner, the creaking of the walls that looked oddly like cottage cheese, the noise screaming child outside... And the thud of my rapidly increasing pulse are all added to the many sounds forcing their way through my ears. It is slowly driving me crazy. With every unwanted breath my mouth inhales I get more and more heated. I take out my frustration on the brainless people talking on the television.


How much of a loser do you have to be to host this stupid show?! I think to myself. Wow, cars driving around in circles…That’s very entertaining.


Well at least it cant get that much worse I tell myself.


Have you ever noticed how when that thought pops into your head, it ALWAYS gets MUCH worse. Well...yeah.


Bored of the creepy sounding low lives in the background talking about stuff I’m surprised ANYONE in the world cares about, I over-exaggerate a sigh--hoping to get Grandpas attention.


It won’t work.


I cough quietly.


Nothing.


I can practically see the black and white spirals twisting in his eyes. He is hypnotized. Little hope is left, and if I want to know what that surprise is, this is my last chance.


I take a breath--working up my courage. I know I could get yelled at for asking, but I have to go for it.


“So grandpa..." I whine, trying to look as adorable as possible "where did my parents go anyways?" While batting my eyelashes and straitening my posture I submerge into thoughts of the surprise being something like a jungle gym for my room… or a life time supply of chocolate. Mmmm…chocolate. Wow! I am so WEIRD!


After this realization, my thoughts disappear like a piece of cake offered to a 5 year old child on their birthday. In lamens terms it’s gone…instantly.


Looking into my grandpas entranced eyes I wonder how he can be entertained by THESE weirdoes. They are talking about these cars, driving around in circles I may add, like they’re families all had knives to their throats. They are seriously acting ENTERTAINED.


Wow; I don’t think I’ve ever seen that great of an actor before! and for the first time that day, I am amused.


Sinking out of my thoughts I decide to give it one last try.


Scaring me a little, my next cough is drown out by his appalling response. “They went to get a dog” he says with absolutely no emotion or interest.


My thoughts ignite.


He probably doesn’t know WHAT he is talking about, mom and dad would never do that to me, they know dogs are my phobia. Besides death, THEY’RE number one.


I know,100%, whether I want to admit it or not, that he is NOT lying to me.


I know but how about we give him the benefit of the doubt?


There is no doubt Naomi!


Ugh… as always, the realistic one is probably right. Once again, thanks a lot god!


Only what seems like seconds later grandpa tells me it’s time to walk to my house and wait. The 100 degree heat was cold compared the house and over-whelmed me like a hard punch to the stomach as we step over the thresh-hold. We walk into the house where the tingling smell of tuna taunts my nose until I noticed my half eaten sandwhich. Laying on the table I decided it is still good.


God, I PROMISE, I will eat that if you don’t let the dog kill me. PLEASE , I’ll do anything.


We sit down on the sticky leather couch and after about 2 minutes of awkward silence the dreaded sound of the doorknob interrupts us dead in our seats.


His name…is Buddy. Scooting back on the couch, he jots up to the table in front of


He sniffs around, looking scared someone is going to hurt him.


WOW this dog is skinny I think to myself.


His thin brown hair sticks to his skin like someone had super-glued it there. I can feel my eyes watering-- but I can’t blink, I’m just to scared.


Then, I see him chewing something, looking over I can see what’s in his mouth. My tuna sandwich, and that was the first times that day that I felt truly blessed.

The List

It's a love/hate thing.  These lists that run through my head.  What's one more?  Here's my "Get a Life List"...that was on my list to get done. I could have been super anal and incredibly specific here, but then it would have felt like homework, and a really pathetic New Year's Resolutions Runoff that only sets you up for failure.  I'm going for the vague, sort of (broad and open for interpretation and tweeking lists).  Now I can check that off. 

In one of my previous posts I proclaimed that I would be creating an alternative to a (Bucket List) for myself, to help me keep my sanity during all the changes that are occurring in my life right now.  Nothing special, but here it is :-)

1. Laugh.  Try to find something that makes you chuckle, everyday.  Even when you're so pissed you could breathe fire, or so sad that you just need to bury your head under the covers.  Who cares what makes you laugh, even if it's highly inappropriate.  ;-)
This guy made me laugh my ass off this morning.



2. Create.  Who cares what it is, or what it involves.  Creativity is like coffee for your soul.  It just keeps you going sometimes.  If you stop and take the time to do something creative - whether it involves work or personal interest, it's good.  So that's good.  For today, this would be writing.  Later on today, I'll be baking (creating) brownies for a bake sale.  Bam.

3. Eat well, and live well.  So cliche, but let's face it - we are what we eat and what we do.  I'm not just eating well and living well for my baby, I'm doing it for me.  Everything in moderation.  You can have one brownie.  Let's just try not to eat half the pan...and don' forget to stretch and keep moving. Even if you're gassy. Who would have thought a search for pictures of yoga poses would yield something so cute as below!  That's another laugh right there.  ;-)

4. Relax.  Reading and watching movies.  As much as possible.  Awesome.  Especially since I really have to make the time for stuff like this, but I feel that it's definitely an obtainable goal! Finishing up the series right now.  Long overdue, and it's about time I took the time. 

5. Get out.  Sometimes I honestly do not feel like doing this or doing that.  I've been guilty of avoiding a lot of events and gatherings these past few months. Oh, I could give you a plethera of reasons why, and most of them are valid and almost not too selfish.  Even though it's good to say no every now and then, or just stay in - it doesn't hurt to crawl out from under the rock from time to time either. 

 
So here there you have it.
1. Laugh
2. Create
3. Eat and Move
4. Relax
5. Get out of the house. Sometimes.

CHECK.

Things We Lose Along the Way

There's a movie I saw a couple of years ago, starring Halle Berry entitled "Things We Lost in the Fire."  Possibly not the most uplifting movie I've ever seen, but when I was watching it, I was in the middle of my own personal aftermath of a fire and loss. (Symbolically speaking)  Of course, the setting was very depressing.  The main character is a mom just trying to keep things together after the sudden passing of her husband.  She keeps flashing back to a time in their lives when a fire destroyed their garage, and they  subsequently lost all their pictures and keepsakes that she kept stored in there.  His answer to all her grief and depression over the loss of these things was to just hold her and tell her, "They're just things."

To make a long story short, and because some stories are better left untold....when I chose to end a very unhealthy relationship and lifestyle (almost 5 years ago now), I left it all.  Of course, coming to a decision and acting on it was a long process, but when the feet actually hit the pavement, it was as if I was fleeing a fire or flood.  All I took with me were the things that mattered the most.  My daughter, my dog, and some clothes to keep us warm.  I left my car, all the rest of my clothes and personal items, every picture and family video, and other countless things. Those items didn't bother me.   It was all those special moments and pictures. All of Naomi's baby pictures, school pictures, awards, a special baby box I kept for her to save and preserve all her baby memories.  It was as if they had burned.  I wanted them, thought about them all the time - cried over them, but in my heart I knew "They were just things." 

 The other night, I was asked to drive out to the old house, that is now being seized by the bank - to pick up my things.  It's been so long that I have absolutely no clue what kind of stuff was thrown into the shed after being plucked out of the attic.  I am not a person who hangs onto a lot of things, so I'm sure most of it will end up being donated.  However, I am hoping and praying that somewhere in that heap of a past life will be all those pictures and mementos that I left in the fire. 

I have been able to gather up a few little albums here and there over the years.  However, this is possibly one of my favorite pictures ever. 

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Forgive me Blog, for I have been away for a while.  It has been 38 days since my last post.  It's been a busy few months.  Just trying to stay on point and get to work on time without puking or fainting has been an exercise in the art of routine and discipline.  However, these days I'm feeling great!  Comparatively speaking anyhow.  Trudging your way through the first trimester of pregnancy is like waiting in line at the DMV, wondering if you brought all the right paperwork, hoping that the scowling lady at the counter is not going to turn you away for not having a certain document signed....yada yada.  You just want to get out of there ASAP, leaving with everything you came for.  In this case - a healthy pregnancy, with a good fetal heart rate, and Lord willing, all the documents and paperwork you need to keep trucking along. I'm referring to all the medical insurance crap we had to deal with - in case you were wondering what the hell I'm talking about with that last sentence.  Although, in this metaphorical connection - there is no link to lying about your weight.  You can't do that in pregnancy.  However, I do it shamelessly at the DMV.  Although, every time I leave an appointment with a picture of my baby, I am smiling.  When I leave the DMV with a picture, it's more of a cringe.  Oh well.  My parents would probably still think it's cute. 

We are so thankful and happy to report that we have been blessed with a very healthy and active baby boy, who is bouncing off the uterine walls right now as we speak.

I will admit, I've been plagued by fear and paranoia these last few months.  Thinking about everything that could go wrong.  Praying for peace of mind, and faith that God will guide us through this brief period of time in our lives before the great change.  Even though I've had all these fears and paranoid dreams, we have also been having a lot of fun enjoying this beautiful transition in our lives too.  Not to mention, all the not so pretty side effects of carrying another life inside of you.  This can bring about all sorts of interesting, unpleasant and horrifically amusing symptoms.

Maybe it's because I'm carrying a boy, but nobody could top me in a farting contest.  Nobody. Not even this guy.

  I also complain and protest like an old man with gastrointestinal issues every time I eat anything with grease or too much salt.  Not caring who hears me, or what they might be thinking.  Not to mention, I have developed a slight case of narcolepsy.  I'm like grandpa at Thanksgiving, rotund belly and all.  I even have my very own designated recliner. 

Because my job is so physically active, and the mornings can be pretty hectic, you will never see me without a piece of food in my mouth or something in my hand that will soon make its way there. It may sound a little over the top, but Teacher Margo is no good to anybody when she's huddled in the corner in a fetal position trying not to pass out.  This is tricky, because it's a juggling act of all the right proteins, fiber and calcium that I can fit into a few hours' time.  Even if I was craving cheese and bananas - I would be an idiot if I ate this all morning, and my family would not be happy with my endless complaining over the next couple of days, as I prayed over a cup of Metamucil.  My friend Jerissa has turned me on to this wonderful and yummy snack that has kept my colon very happy and healthy these days.  I highly recommend!

Also, I cry frequently.  At least once a day.  Over nothing.  So far, I've been avoiding Hallmark movies steadfastly.  I've gone through boxes and boxes of tissues.  I am in talks with Kleenex about some possible advertising opportunities.  John Boehner and I are working something out, but I digress.  That's another post.

I am also happy to introduce the newest member to our family.  Trixie!  She's spunky and likes to flip around in her cage.  We tried to put her in with our Rambo.  Rambo had different ideas however.  He loves his daddy, and does not want to share.  Thus he has begun biting, and squawking.  Jealousy makes us do silly things.  Even if we are tiny little birdies. 

Last but not least, this guy.  Love him.  Couldn't do any of this without him.  He makes me smile.  If I were to write him a letter at this moment in time, I think the only words that could even begin to sum up how I feel for him would simply be Thank You.  For everything.  Pass the Kleenex John Boehner. 

A Hobby

Well, a few weeks ago I was determined to find a hobby while being pregnant. Something to help me keep a sense of self for the next few months.  I felt dumb for posting a proclamation that I would find something meaningful and profound to do in my off time, which is already pretty much nil as it is.  Let's face it, I feel accomplished if I can squeeze in a phonecall to the Insurance Company or to reschedule a Dr.'s appointment during the work week.
Well,  I found a hobby, or maybe more accurately....it found me.  I think shortly after I finished writing my last blog, I took some time to hone this special skill.  I'm proud of myself for finally sticking with something, and I'm really really good at it.  I work at it every chance I get.  Here's a snapshot of me in the act, and even my dog in on the action.

We went up to the cabin last weekend, and took the kids with us.  So relaxing.

Hope your Holidays are wonderful!  I know I will be enjoying the long weekends coming up. :-)

Time to Get a Life, or a Hobby

I pride myself on being a simple small town girl.  In fact, this is my man's purportedly "favorite" thing about me.  I grew up in a small town, amongst a backdrop of clucking chickens and braying sheep in the backyard.  Family and church potlucks were the highlights of my childhood.  That and an above ground blow up pool in the backyard.  To make a long story short.  I am incredibly boring.  My idea of a good time involves a glass of wine, a good book, a good movie, a nice long walk, or time with the ones I love the most.  If you were to look up the word normal in the dictionary, well...my picture wouldn't be there - but in the world of exaggerated exclaiming...yes.  My smiling face would be smack dab. 

I don't really get out much.  I dislike shopping.  Lately, when I try to read, I fall asleep.  I work.  A lot.  So when I'm home, I just really like to relax.  Chris fires up the grill, I grab a glass of wine (not anymore) - and we sit back and talk - enjoying one another's company.  Naomi and I, well - let's be frank.  We have lots of mother/daughter bonding time, but she's in 7th grade, and a girl.  I think I might be her personal chauffeur.  Although, she is very grateful - she can't help that she has a bigger social life than her mother.  I'm happy she has friends, lots of them.  (Most of the time).

One thing I am an expert at - is childhood development.  I also see firsthand, nearly every single day - how a lot of parents lose themselves in the fog of parenting.   In more ways than one.  This can take on so many shapes and forms.  There's the "Disneyland" (clueless) parent, the "Hovering" parent (somebody cut the cord please!), the "laid back" (lazy) parent, ah - and how could I forget, the "slap happy" parent.  The solution to every problem ends with a smack or a seething and unrealistic threat through gritted teeth and bulging veins. Most of the above parenting styles end with this last one in a fit of frustration,

The fact is, I can honestly say - I'm guilty of some of those "styles" from time to time.  None of us are perfect, even those of us that are so called "experts."  The one thing that I have learned, probably the most important of all - in my parenting journey - is that you must make time for yourself.  Yes, being selfless is a virtue, but not when it comes to parenting.  It's important to have hobbies and create a life for yourself that does not solely revolve around your kids.

Herein lies my quandary for the moment.  Chris and I have found ourselves in the wonderfully blissful stage of life that we never thought or planned to share together.  If you hadn't notice the bambino floating around at the corner of my blog - we are indeed starting over.  His daughter Sierra is 14.  My daughter is 12.  Surprise!!!! 

My debacle right now lies in making time for myself.  We are extremely happy and thrilled to be blessed with our own little bundle of joy, however, the realization of what all this means is profoundly life altering.  I spend most of my time with young children, it's my job.  I am constantly potty training toddlers, teaching parents to be firm yet loving when dealing with their child's alarming behavior, wiping noses, butts, taming tantrums.  It never ends.  I feel accomplished, because I'm confident in my methods, and my discipline styles - and my kids are wonderful.  Every single screaming, screeching, adorable egocentric one of them.  I love them all, and at the end of the day - I feel like I've done something worthwhile.

So...where do I come in?  Right now - exhausted does not even begin to describe how I feel.  I sleep like the dead - and if potatoes were the only food source left on earth, I'd be fine.  Right now, this is all I can stomach.  I mistakenly thought I could stay up last night and celebrate with Chris (birthday boy).  Maybe talk and catch up on each other's week...etc.  Yeah, I was in bed by nine.  As much as I want to take my own advice and etch out my own life and not let this little bundle inside of me consume my every waking moment.  Um - that's not going to happen, because this little gift inside of me is consuming all my energy at the moment.  Not only that, but my thought processes have been greatly altered as well.  I've left keys in doors, gone to work fashionably inside out, left purse and phone in car numerous times, stumbled on my words, and forgotten what I was talking about more times than I can count. Wait, what am I blogging about again?

A lot of people are talking about bucket lists these days....I'm coming up with my own list - My "Get a Life" list to help me keep some sense of myself during this pregnancy - this list may involve underwater basket weaving, wine tasting that involves the use of a spit bucket, (this is the proper way to do it anyhow!) brisk power walking, (waddle style) blogging more, reading more, and possibly even knitting.    So exciting.  Stay tuned! Feel free to add some ideas too!  Anything that doesn't involve child birthing or mom clubs would be awesome.

Until next time ~

Sounds Like Life...

It seems like it's been forever since I actually sat down and typed - or wrote anything on a piece of paper these days, other than massive amounts of lists.  I was cleaning out my purse yesterday, and found at least 5 different clumped up pieces of paper, all a barrage of to do-isms.  Most of these still have yet to get done-ism. Things get done, just maybe not in the order I would want them to.
 The big daunting things are always looming - waiting in the wings - knawing away at my brain at spontaneous moments.  These pesky little boogers sometimes unfortunately remind me of things I have failed at, things I have chosen to not finish or accomplish, and others I simply could not complete or even begin.  The bright side in all of this, is that this is life.  These are the things that keep  us going, that keep us motivated. 
Goals and lists are a healthy part of living.  It's good to have a light at the end of the tunnel, a finish line.  It's also good to let things slide every now and then too.  This makes me enjoy the small little moments.  The pure joy in a spotlessly clean shower and bathtub, after I waited way toooooo long to clean it the last time.  I swear, if I had kept on a schedule and cleaned the damn bathroom every Thursday, like I tell myself I'm supposed to do - I probably wouldn't appreciate just how clean it was, because it would always be perfect.  Thus I wouldn't be able to really relish in the joy of having a sparkling tub and shower devoid of soap scum and other things that might possibly sprout. 
So, I think this particular post is telling me that I should make a list of some big and little things in my life that I am grateful for.  Things that have made me smile, and things that keep my heart healthy.  In no particular order...

* A delightful little girl named Naomi, who makes me laugh, smile, and sometimes raise my voice in a disciplinary maternalistic sort of way.  I love you darling.  You are amazing, and you make me so proud. 

 We celebrated your 12th birthday last week, and it was wonderful to see you laugh and be your fabulous self with your girlfriends.  Thank you to my lovely friend Rachel for letting us use your pool and house for our tweenfest.

 Also, Science Camp was less than fantastic - but a great memory for us to look back on and be grateful it was only 3 days and not a whole week!  Thank you Justin Bieber, for being our Cabin Mascot.  I really could have done without you, but alas...there you were.  Bangs and all. 

 * My wonderful partner, and the love of my life - I just realized I typed that underneath a picture of JB.  Ahem...Chris, I love you so much.  We celebrated 2 years together this last week, and you are amazing.  You make me smile and laugh everyday.  I simply cannot imagine my life without you, nor would I want to.  Oh, and you are super hot.  Also, I love that you cook and clean - more than I do. 

*Mom!  You've done it!  All those years you spent writing and pouring your heart out into your stories and articles.  You are such an inspiration to me.  Congratulations from the bottom of my heart.  Love you and cannot wait to see you soon!  Click HERE to see her profile and a summation of her novel.  Ahem...copies can be purchased online on Barnes and Noble, Wal Mart, Amazon.com, Target, etc.  Wow!

I cannot believe how much you have been able to accomplish, especially having to raise us 3 squirts and deal with our quirks well into our adulthood.  We adore you. 

*Car troubles, medical and dental care with an absence of insurance, poopie diapers, tantrums, pre-teen angst, cramps, long lines at the bank, clutter, and endless to-do lists that never seem to get finished - yet always seem to come alive and grow. 

All these things make me grateful for simplicity and the tranquility it brings to my life.  Am I making any sense?  Until next time...