31 is the new 30

Just had a fun talk with Chris' mom.  We were laughing about how at certain times in our lives....we just know everything there is to know.  When you were 18, seriously - don't try and deny it.  You knew everything, and your parents didn't know shit. (I'm sorry mom, so sorry.  You were right....)  Well, for me this was probably more like 15.  When I was 18 I was learning the hard way that I knew nothing.  With a colicky baby, a deflated ego and body - I was horrified and dumbstruck, all of the sudden, and all at once. 

This is the face of a 15-year-old who knows EVERYTHING.

Through certain times in my life, I believe I thought that I was pretty intelligent.  A real smart ass, who could take the bull by the horns, and no matter how hard life got - I'd figure it out.  Maybe this is what got me through my twenties, because they were not easy nor fun for me, and I had to be that way to just get through. 

Before I turned 30, I wasn't really too excited.  I wasn't dreading it, but I knew that nothing profound was going to happen.  Just another number notch on the age belt.  I don't know how the hell it happened, because I almost forgot - I'm already 31.

I exclaimed on the phone tonight - that I'm 31 and I know nothing, and it's great. We then collectively gasped over the fact that she thought I'd just turned 30, and I had to think for a second to remember that I indeed was 30 + 1, but sometimes I have to remind myself, because really - what's the difference?  Watching my daughter grow into herself and listening to her talk about random issues and her own take on the world.  Trying not to giggle as she ponders over politics, friends, boys and her own spirituality as she breaks into "The Robot" and sashays back into her room.  It's great, and I love that she has the freedom and wherewithal to think and talk about these things to her heart's content. Not to mention, the energy.  Even if I guiltily admit that sometimes I tune out, for the sole purpose of keeping my sanity.  She is so sure of herself and headstrong.  She's a regular little know it all, who we have to keep in check at times - but it's all worth it.

So here I sit, a year older, even if I sometimes forget that I am, and definitely possibly not as sharp and astute - but most assuredly wiser. Just happy to be enjoying life for a change instead of feeling like I'm swimming against a tide.  It's a long awaited answer to a prayer, that's for sure.  So is 31 the new 30?  I think so, especially if you forget that you're 31+ already. 



Thanks for the great talk Mama Deb!  Love ya :-)