In Mom's Words

Our beautiful and beloved Aunt Karen passed away last Friday.  To give you a brief history, she lived the last 30 plus years of her life with grace and a disposition that only a remarkable human being could pull off.  Aunt Karen battled with MS most of her adult life, her smile and laughter will forever have a place in my heart and all of her family - I grieve for her husband, and her two grown sons, as they are trying to cope with the loss of their wife and mother. 

My mom is a very talented and published writer, through her grief - she wrote something so sweet and so tender that I wanted to share.  I know just how proud Aunt Karen was of her little sister, and bragged about her like only a big sister can, with their 14-year age span, it was almost maternal like.  So in mom's words....some thoughts about her big sis.

We all have memories of Karen in various stages of life. She was the music in our home for so many years. Her plays brought us activity and such color! Her creativity always seemed to culminate in something perfectly well done, beautiful.



Her marriage was her crowning achievement, though, even and I think especially in her illness because it was apparent she had chosen well and been well blessed in Mike.


One memory I will treasure forever is of visiting Karen on her birthday. She was by then in her hospital bed in the smaller house in Salinas. Mike had seen to it an addition was built to accommodate her caregivers, and part of that addition housed the grand piano. As Karen and I visited (and I know to treasure that visit now because Karen was engaged in conversation with me – something the years would take away) Mike left us to go into the music room and play. Karen told me he had been taking lessons so he could do this: for her birthday he played Broadway musical themes from the many plays one or both of them had acted in.


Karen listened, wincing here and there if a note was off at all, but smiling deliciously – a smile and giggle that only love and fond happiness could enlist. Of course I couldn’t tell there were any notes amiss. The music was wonderful!


On other visits I noticed Mike’s largess in seeing to every detail of his wife’s happiness. It was tremendous. He made sure to include her in all household decisions. At one point he brought in a small house plant for her inspection, discussing its problems and a method for treatment. Until it was no longer possible Mike arranged a family bar-b-que every Sunday – all interested were invited – and John made sure his mother was at the table for these if at all possible.


Only later did I learn that Michael was suffering from M.S. himself.


There were many things Mike did that I only heard about, such as his insistence they go to the movies for a date at least once a week, their amazing Christmas parties that included everyone to do with Karen’s care. He knew these people were very dear to his wife. She thought about and prayed for – loved – every one of them.


Yesterday, November 18th, Friday, Karen passed. Jan called to tell me – said that John told her our sister had a smile on her face.


All things seem to slow and grow quiet in this news. Time passes, as she passed, taking its turn into eternity.


Her life was fraught with physical challenge that her spirit endured and overcame, making something entirely beautiful just like the musicals she starred in so long ago. Who were the heroes, the clowns, the antagonists? And what battles do they fight now? Now that the heroes won, the clowns have gone, the antagonists are quiet, paying tribute, saying: good show! and moving on. But I like to think the clowns have retired their costumes, and that the antagonists have laid down their fiery charges, given them up to be finally buried under a thick layer of love.


I see them that way because love won the war last night. The battles were many, but love won. I’m sure of that because somewhere in her house, scrawled by the child Karen in the front pages of her King James Bible are the words: Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. Those words are carved on the Wilson family stone somewhere in a Harrison, Arkansas cemetery. In front of that lie two headstones, one admonishing those who remained to trust in the Lord forever - Faith, and one quietly comforting the sleeping saint under it, the pure in heart, that she would see God - Hope.


Now there remain faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love.


It is the week of thanksgiving, and I have a heart of thanksgiving for Karen’s family now – such thanksgiving is hard to express except to say, most probably in agreement with our Lord: WELL DONE!