In Mom's Words

Our beautiful and beloved Aunt Karen passed away last Friday.  To give you a brief history, she lived the last 30 plus years of her life with grace and a disposition that only a remarkable human being could pull off.  Aunt Karen battled with MS most of her adult life, her smile and laughter will forever have a place in my heart and all of her family - I grieve for her husband, and her two grown sons, as they are trying to cope with the loss of their wife and mother. 

My mom is a very talented and published writer, through her grief - she wrote something so sweet and so tender that I wanted to share.  I know just how proud Aunt Karen was of her little sister, and bragged about her like only a big sister can, with their 14-year age span, it was almost maternal like.  So in mom's words....some thoughts about her big sis.

We all have memories of Karen in various stages of life. She was the music in our home for so many years. Her plays brought us activity and such color! Her creativity always seemed to culminate in something perfectly well done, beautiful.



Her marriage was her crowning achievement, though, even and I think especially in her illness because it was apparent she had chosen well and been well blessed in Mike.


One memory I will treasure forever is of visiting Karen on her birthday. She was by then in her hospital bed in the smaller house in Salinas. Mike had seen to it an addition was built to accommodate her caregivers, and part of that addition housed the grand piano. As Karen and I visited (and I know to treasure that visit now because Karen was engaged in conversation with me – something the years would take away) Mike left us to go into the music room and play. Karen told me he had been taking lessons so he could do this: for her birthday he played Broadway musical themes from the many plays one or both of them had acted in.


Karen listened, wincing here and there if a note was off at all, but smiling deliciously – a smile and giggle that only love and fond happiness could enlist. Of course I couldn’t tell there were any notes amiss. The music was wonderful!


On other visits I noticed Mike’s largess in seeing to every detail of his wife’s happiness. It was tremendous. He made sure to include her in all household decisions. At one point he brought in a small house plant for her inspection, discussing its problems and a method for treatment. Until it was no longer possible Mike arranged a family bar-b-que every Sunday – all interested were invited – and John made sure his mother was at the table for these if at all possible.


Only later did I learn that Michael was suffering from M.S. himself.


There were many things Mike did that I only heard about, such as his insistence they go to the movies for a date at least once a week, their amazing Christmas parties that included everyone to do with Karen’s care. He knew these people were very dear to his wife. She thought about and prayed for – loved – every one of them.


Yesterday, November 18th, Friday, Karen passed. Jan called to tell me – said that John told her our sister had a smile on her face.


All things seem to slow and grow quiet in this news. Time passes, as she passed, taking its turn into eternity.


Her life was fraught with physical challenge that her spirit endured and overcame, making something entirely beautiful just like the musicals she starred in so long ago. Who were the heroes, the clowns, the antagonists? And what battles do they fight now? Now that the heroes won, the clowns have gone, the antagonists are quiet, paying tribute, saying: good show! and moving on. But I like to think the clowns have retired their costumes, and that the antagonists have laid down their fiery charges, given them up to be finally buried under a thick layer of love.


I see them that way because love won the war last night. The battles were many, but love won. I’m sure of that because somewhere in her house, scrawled by the child Karen in the front pages of her King James Bible are the words: Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. Those words are carved on the Wilson family stone somewhere in a Harrison, Arkansas cemetery. In front of that lie two headstones, one admonishing those who remained to trust in the Lord forever - Faith, and one quietly comforting the sleeping saint under it, the pure in heart, that she would see God - Hope.


Now there remain faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love.


It is the week of thanksgiving, and I have a heart of thanksgiving for Karen’s family now – such thanksgiving is hard to express except to say, most probably in agreement with our Lord: WELL DONE!

He who cannot be a good pooper cannot be a good leader. - Aristotle

We started solids.  The word "solid" makes me think of poop.  And since we have started solids, poop has changed in this house.  Specifically - the poop that collects into the diaper of my baby.  Also - I don't quite understand why, because THIS is what happens when I put food in his mouth. 

Seriously, avocado, apples, bananas, sweet potatoes....just come oozing out of his mouth like a lahar.  Apparently he is swallowing some of it, because his diapers are being put to the test these days. 

Also, it is just great that just as babies start eating solids they begin to blow raspberries, or shall I say bluntly.  *spit* 

Well shit. 

That's about it here.  Life is beautiful.  I look outside my window and I see this.

Also, I get to see this - pretty much every single day.

Love this place.

Also, do yourself a (solid), and have a great day! 

The End.

McBummer

So, our journey up to Oregon was interesting. I would say it was a breeze, but my windshield wipers suddenly stopped working on the first day - right in the middle of a rainstorm in BFE....just outside of Sactown.  (Los Banos)  Really, how fitting is that?  My wipers went to shit, in the shitter.  We stopped and sat around with our thumbs up our butts. Dad couldn't figure it out - and I just kept hitting random things under the hood and around the windshield gage. It didn't work.  I got really sad and discouraged, then decided to take Reggie and Naomi and go to a fast food joint, because really - sometimes the only thing to do is eat your feelings.  We sat and ate our feelings for a few minutes, I nursed the baby (he needed to eat his feelings too).  Finally, the rain stopped but there were luminous clouds, so we decided to tread onward.  It was the worst feeling, looking up at mean clouds and thinking it would be forever until we made it up to the big O.  Yes, I just wrote that.  Whoops.  We managed to evade the rain for two hours, and then poof. All of the sudden, after staring at my wipers, which were frozen on my windshield in mid-wipe, they began to work, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I am not a cat, but this is the face I made when the wipers wiped out. Thank you Toonses.

We arrived in Redding, I was in such a good mood I decided that I would run out and grab dinner for everyone. I left the kids and my dad at the motel and set forth on my doomed journey, in a strange town, where I don't know where anything is. I clipped the corner of a Nissan Altima as I was turning into a McDonald's. Total McBummer. The only good news is that I was going super slow. It was my fault. I made a last minute lane change and she was in my blind spot. Translation. I was tired and not paying attention and pulled a boner. Her baby was in the backseat screaming and bawling, which made me feel just awesome.  The woman couldn't have been nicer, we exchanged information - I gave that lady everything but my birth cert. and SS# I swear.  Nothing like feeling guilty to get your niceness on.  If I'd had money in my wallet, I would have thrown it all at her, and her angry baby too.  In all seriousness though, I've been hit before, and the other driver just took off like a cat that got dropped in the bathtub.  Leaving me feeling angry and abandoned - so I knew how important it was to be mature and as nice as possible, while apologizing profusely.  Luckily, her car had a very fixable and agreeable dent - mine got the brunt, but it was all aesthetic, so we would live to see another day of traveling without the help of a tow truck! 

Needless to say that I was too upset that evening to "Eat my feelings".   Broken windshield wipers, yes.  Fender Bender...OMG where's the Ambien, I need to forget this day ever happened.  Thank you.

We arrived in style Monday night.  In the middle of a rainstorm, with working wipers, a screaming Reggie, a happy Naomi, and one burnt out mama.  All in all though, it is so nice to be home.  I am taking it all in.  Mt. Hood is in view outside on my morning walks, the Fall foliage is breathtaking, and having family close by is so nice.  (Lots and lots of babysitters!)  I could not have done this without the help of my lovely daughter - who kept her little brother entertained throughout our trip, and my dad - who happily caravanned with us to get us there safely. 

Oh, and another McBummer....last night I gave Reggie some avocado.  So sweet.  He loved it up.  Loved loved loved it.  He is my son after all.  Only, we woke up this morning to this.

So.  Yeah, major McBummer.  BTW, this is not my baby.  This is a random Inteweb baby, whose rash is much worse.



Oxymoron Lentil Soup

Apparently, Esau gave up his birth right for this amazingness.  It must have been one helluva recipe, because I might give up a few things for lentil soup - but certainly not my inheritance, if I actually had one.  But whatever, he must have been starving. (Genesis 25: 30-34).  
Here is my recipe.  Eat your heart out Esau.  Well, maybe not - mine has pork in it....so.  Oh, and apparently there are lots of healthy goodies in these little lentils, like mucho medicinal properties or something like that.  It doesn't just give you moderate gas.  ;-)
 
1 pkg. of lentils 2 cups
6-8 cups of water or chicken stock/broth/bouillon (I have been using bouillon cubes lately) a cheap and easy fast way to add flavor, as long as you aren't too worried about sodium and retaining water.
1 onion finely chopped until you begin to weep with stinging eye pain and then just cut the rest of that s&*% up and throw it in.  What the hell, it will cook down.  Who cares.
Garlic - as much as you want in whatever form you want.  May it ooze out of your pores.  Yum. 
Tomatoes - take those fresh tomatoes that will just go bad anyway, (because you forget they are at the bottom of your veggie bin), chop them up and throw them in.  dammit.
Carrots and whatever the heck else you need to dispose of in the dark corners of your fridge that hasn't spoiled.
Meat.  Whatever you have.  Except lunch meat.  Don't do that.  Or hot dogs.  I threw in some Italian sausage, just to mix up the ethnic pool, and to create an ironic soupy dish. 
Crock pot on low.
Do whatever you want, for like a whole day. 
Then dish into a bowl and eat, and slurp.
Salt and pepper to taste.  :-)  I garnished mine with some flax seed blue corn toasted torts, and some sour cream.  If you are watching your calories, nonfat plain yogurt is a great SC substitute. 
 
 

Fun With Bad Pictures

Feel free to add your own caption...

"Someday...she will pay for this.  Where is my boob and blankie?  All I see are screaming little people with bags.  This blows."

Halloween 2011

We didn't have time to get to the Pumpkin Patch.  I really didn't even have time or money to get costumes, but somehow....those dilemmas worked themselves out.  Today, Chris asked me "So how long is this going to go on?  Please tell me this is the last year Naomi is trick-or-treating.  She's 13." 

And to that I nonchalantly reply..."Oh, um yeah this will maybe probably be our last year..." 

We are milking it for as long as we can, and next year and for a couple years after that - she's a lucky duck, because Reggie will be her little partner in crime and she will have a rock solid excuse to still go parading around begging for candy.  After all, someone has to escort the little man.  Me, all I care about is the chocolate.  I'm in it for the chocolate.  Everything else will end up discarded.  Save the chocolate for Snow White!

 A slightly wrinklier...aged Snow White.  Like a fine wine.

Sue Sylvester

Baby Dino

Maybe next year, we can convince dad to dress up.  Matching Baby Daddy costumes!  Yes! 

Even better, they should have matching outfits.  All the time.  No this is not my baby daddy or my baby, but you get the idea. 

Yeah, it's never gonna happen.

On the Move!

T-minus 9 days!  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I haven't seen my honey in over 2 weeks now, and I am just dying to get up to Oregon and start unpacking all my crap.  All of my crap, all of Naomi's crap, all of Reggie's crap, and all of the household crap.  I actually LOVE unpacking and getting set up.  It's the *packing* that I loathe, and I am not ashamed to admit that I really didn't have to do much of any *packing* for this move.  Chris is a very organized individual unlike myself, and I was more than happy to let him be in charge of all the packing duties, and I find him very sexy when he takes charge and does domestic things around the house, including packing.   

Sexy

Not sexy

That being said, there has not been a lot of time lately for me to do the things that I enjoy the most.  One of them being writing.  I seriously thought that I could juggle working full time, breastfeeding, taking care of an infant and a 13-year-old, wake up at 5 am every morning, be up all hours of the night and morning changing and feeding my little one, and STILL make time for the things that I am fond of.  What I realized was this......um, NO.  When you are so tired and busy, and by busy and tired I mean (OMIGODIHAVENTSLEPTIN6MONTHSANDIMGOINGTOLOSEMYFRIGGINMINDINEEDADRINK!) the really important things tend to fall into place over time, or get pushed to the back burner until the last minute.  The fun stuff - well, that's when you need to get a babysitter or enlist help from an innocent relative or friend who happened to answer their phone at the wrong time. 

I have found myself being one of "THOSE" parents.  You know, the ones that pass their baby around at parties and get togethers, while taking advantage of the freedom for however long they can milk it.  The freedom of two arms and two hands.  I find that typing and writing is not cohesive with baby holding or nursing...so until there is this new super invention of a robot nanny or baby holding and keeping happy device...I still won't be writing as much.  However, I will not be waking every morning at 5 am and running myself ragged until I come home at 5 pm to dishes, laundry, blown out diapers, teenage angst, and neighbors who make me want to shoot dolphins.  Yes, they made me that angry. 

Now, there will be a little more time.  In less than 2 weeks I will be up in Oregon, getting settled and honing my domestic engineering skills.  We are moving to Clackamas, a suburb of Portland - and I'm nervous but very excited! 

Until then, the kids and I are staying with our cousin Rachel, who has opened up her home to us.  She has proven to be a wonderful "Baby Holding Snatching Relative," and I am finding that those are hard to come by.  I really appreciate her baby hogging urges, and I am happy to oblige as often as she feels the need.

Thank you Rachel, for all your help and support through this crazy last minute move.  We love you! 

Say What?

Louise Mayhew gets the "Tool" comment of the day....


As the Atascadero USD's head of transportation, Louise Mayhew calls bus routes a "luxury" and not a requirement;

This is the same woman that told me my 12-yr-old daughter (at the time) would have to do what we did when we were kids and "walk" to school. 7 miles round trip. I never had to walk 3 1/2 miles to school, and I would never expect my child to. Not barefoot and not in the snow either, you idiot. AUSD could have handled this differently. Someone is not doing their job.

Personally, I think Louise should invest in some of these - and possibly pedal around in one herself. I'd be happy to do my part. I get that we are under some very severe budget cuts.  I understand fully, as a citizen and a parent that bus lines had to be cut.  However, choose your words wisely woman.  We are all spread very thin here, and let's face it, your job sucks, but guess what?  So does mine sometimes, but I do it - and I do it pretty damn well, because I have families and kids that rely on me and need me.  So do you, however, you make a hell of a lot more money than I do.  Maybe you could start by giving ample warning before pulling the rug out from parents and kids who need to get to school but can't.  Oh say, maybe sooner than TWO DAYS before the school year begins?

A lot of us are not able to get our kids to and from school. Whether it be because we don't have a running car, or work the swing shift and other odd hours, or are disabled. I would gladly pay to have my daughter ride the bus, and most districts are resorting to this to keep their lines running. AUSD and Ms. Mayhew dropped the ball on this one, and to add insult - they are completely apathetic about it.   For a fair and balanced view on the story, as if you care....click here





.

Waking Up

What I wouldn't do for just one more day.  Today is our last day before I go back to work.  Reggie's last day before childcare.  Where did the time go?  Chris and I were up talking last night, marveling at how fast this has all gone by.  It seemed like just yesterday I was looking at a pregnancy test and bawling my eyes out - wondering how in the world we were going to manage, but having an overwhelming feeling of love and wonderment for this little miracle that was growing inside of me.  I remember the first moment I felt him move, the hiccups, the sound of his heartbeat through the Doppler.  I miss those moments, all of them.  When he was born, I remember waiting for him to take his first breath, to start crying - and when he finally did, I tried so hard to remember everything I was feeling at that instant, so I could keep it for when I needed it.
  I laid in my hospital bed with him nestled to my chest for almost two hours.  Then life began to move forward, beginning from the instant that I handed him over to our nurse.  At that moment, I felt a little sad - but also relief to know that he was okay and he was healthy.  There was the day we brought him home, the sleepless nights that followed, the moments with family and friends that we will never forget.  The mornings and afternoons we slept away from pure exhaustion, the first smile peeking at the corners of his lips.  It has been so magical, like a dream, and so fleeting.  I'm sure that tomorrow I am going to feel as if I have been rudely awoken - and it's going to take me some time to adjust.  We are closing one chapter and beginning another. Am I ready?  I don't think I ever will be. 

Thanks, Doc

Well, this mama is headed back to work in less than 2 weeks.  Aside from crying and pouting like a big baby over it, and possibly having a grown up tantrum - I have made peace with it.  We found a childcare center that we absolutely love, and for what we are being charged, they will be loving us back, and as my wonderful man so rightly put it; "They had better be using 14kt gold wipes to wipe our son's butt." Or fresh dollar bills.


Reggie had his first round of vaccinations last week, and we had the pleasure of sitting in the waiting room for an hour and a half!  This is what happens when you schedule an appointment a week before school starts, and all parents are rushing in for last minute whooping cough vaccines.  Thanks, parents.  Who in the world waits until the very last moment to take care of something so important?  Ahem...looking away from a mile high stack of insurance forms to my left, and yes, I just ordered a copy of my daughter's birth certificate from the Department of Records, after 13 years.  Pot, meet kettle.


Anyhow, speaking with baby's pediatrician about heading back to work she promptly asks me what I do for a living.  After hearing what my job is, she tells me to bathe myself in hand sanitizer every day before I touch my child, and to stay away from all kids who haven't been vaccinated, and to expect my son to be sick at least once a month, and "Goodluck with that."


Hmph! Could she be any more of an ass?  As right as she is, really - no matter what it is you do for a living, if you work with the public, or even step out of your house for that matter, you are exposing yourself to all kinds of bacteria and pathogens, and words to describe these things that are hard to pronounce.  If anything, I firmly believe working with little ones for over 12 years now has bolstered my immune system to superhero proportions.  Who has two thumbs and does not need a flu shot? This lady. I am immersing myself (unintentionally) in all sorts of germies on a daily basis, and fighting off most illnesses just fine.  I know this year is going to be a doozie for us, and little man will be fighting off lots of interesting strains of this and that, and you know what.  However, this is a part of life - and he's a healthy strong baby. Being exposed to germs and bacteria are just going to happen, and his little body will adapt and begin to fight them off  like the human body is built to do.  At least, this is my hope and prayer.  Or I could just send him to childcare in one of these...


Catch me later when I am buried under a mountain of Kleenex and a fussy baby in two month's time.  My opinions may have changed, and you know what they say about opinions.

The Eyes Have It

It has been said that they are the windows to the soul.  That they "have it".  You can tell so much by looking into someone's eyes.  Or can you?  I don't know, but if you have a teenage daughter - you'd probably notice that they are silent weapons.  Somehow, an eye roll or a long drawn out look up to the ceiling exposing the whites of one's eyes is the ultimate sign of disrespect to a parent, or teacher, or any person in authority for that matter.  Also, have you noticed that when you roll your eyes with complete and utter abandon, that it actually hurts a little?  It takes a lot of effort, but it gets your point across without having to say a word.

Lately, with all that is happening in Washington - don't you just honestly want to roll your eyes?  I am not seasoned nor up to par on all the issues to actually make an educated statement or voice my ignorant opinion about it all.  However, I can roll my eyes.  It's my right. 
This Newsweek cover is getting all kinds of attention, and as blatantly bi-partisan as it is...it is a bit warranted.

  Bachmann and many of her cohorts have been getting all kinds of attention lately for sticking their political feet in their mouths. She is famous for  rewriting history.  See here for a take on the whole thing.

 She is an easy target.  We live in a free country.  Freedom of the press, and yes - it was a little ballsy for them to run this cover of her looking a little crazy in the eyes, but maybe she just had a little too much caffeine.  She's passionate about the issues, she's passionate about her country, she's passionate about having her picture taken, and it shows.  The eyes have it.  With all that is happening in our world, Look to caption on the right of Newsweek cover, I think it's just fine to poke fun at some of our leaders, and even roll our eyes at them. 

Summer of Love

Never in my life have I felt so content, and so much love.  This is my "What I Did Last Summer" essay.  Well technically, summer isn't over yet, but I just love having an excuse to say in a creepy voice..."I Know What You Did Last Summer," and reminisce about a ridiculously stupid movie from back in the day, that was never able to recreate a worthy sequel.


By the way, off topic here...but I just have to revert back to a hormonal teenage moment and ask you who YOU think is hotter.  Ryan or Freddie?  I'm a Freddie Fan myself, I've been hanging out with my daughter and her friends way too much.  Back to the subject at hand, (ADD moment over).

I kicked my summer off early in the month of May, and I had the best time puttering around my apartment, taking long leisurely naps in the afternoon, and doing quite frankly....whatever the hell I wanted to.  Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration.  When you are 9 months pregnant, you really can't do whatever you want.  There are a few physical and possibly emotional limitations, but regardless - the living was easy and it was so nice. 

When our little man arrived right on his due date, it was pretty much the most beautiful moment in our lives, aside from when our daughters were born ( I am speaking for my significant other, and I do this often, because I'm a woman).   Not only did I have the easiest pregnancy ever, but labor and delivery was a cinch, thanks to an IV and a certain man with a very large needle and a medical degree.  He was amazing, and when he finished I told him how good he was, and that I hardly felt a thing.  Yes, I just said that - because that's exactly how it happened.  Get your mind out of the gutter.   So, after 10 hours of sub par labor, I say this because I spent most of it sleeping...and 15 minutes of pushing, our son was born, and he was large.  When the epidural wore off, I really began to appreciate just how large - but that's a whole different post.  Here he is just minutes after, and he was just so perfect.  All 8 lbs 10 oz. of him. 

  I look completely haggard, and I think it's appropriate for the circumstance.  Haggard and happy. Here's my other child.  She's pretty stoked, she wouldn't be if she had actually witnessed the whole thing. Two thumbs up.  Is it just me, or do I look high?  No comment.

The following 2 1/2 months since Reggie's birth have been full of wonderful moments, many a leaky diaper, all kinds of baby goodness.  Gas, spit up, coos, goos, yawns, fussies, and wails sprinkled with lots and lots of love and memories to last a lifetime.  Here are some of my favorite moments....

Reggie and Auntie Rachel.  Not a dry eye in the room I tell ya.

Seriously, the greatest dad I could have ever wanted for my children.

Hard to believe Chris' beautiful daughter Sierra will soon be turning 15!  I love this picture, and I love that he is so happy. 

Love.

Our family.

And then of course, there are the grandparents....we love you mom and dad x 2!  :-)

This last one cracks me up.  Holding a newborn is totally natural for dad - I believe when this photo was snapped we were talking about cars. 
 
Last but not least, and best of all.  This. This is why I had the best summer ever.  Thank you for being born little Reggie.  Love you beyond words.  Xoxo

Meet Reggie

I am not one to shove pictures and videos down people's throats, but here I am shoving.  We love our little man to pieces, and we are just in awe.  From every little grunt, hiccup, gasey smile, poop, and wail.  There is something magical about a newborn baby, and it is such a fleeting moment in your life with your child.  Before we know it there will be baby food, tantrums, and backtalk.  For now, just bliss - and little sleep.  ;-)

A Long Weekend

I had the most fantastical and interesting bout with false labor this last week!  All I can really say is....well, damn it.  It was unpleasant.  So maybe it did some work - and when it actually really gets going I won't have quite as much work to do.  Nonetheless, by Saturday evening, we came to terms with the fact that little Reginald was not going to make his appearance this weekend after all... and we decided to make the most of it and enjoy the much needed rest and sunshine. 


We stopped at the Veteran's Memorial at the park to pay our respects.  We enjoyed some family bonding time, and a nice day in Morro Bay and Cayucos.  Note, I cannot walk out of my apartment or go anywhere for that matter these days without drawing attention to myself.  I realize now, looking at this picture - that even wearing a big bulky black sweatshirt cannot mask the fact that I am ready to pop.

  Chris was amazing, and so supportive, cooking and cleaning, and making sure to spend some extra time with Naomi, who yes.  Even at almost 13 is showing signs of jealousy.  More on that later....but very grateful to have such a caring and thoughtful person to share my life with, and a strong male role model that my daughter can look up to and learn from, and that my son will call Dad.  So emotional.  So pregnant.  Sniff sniff....Until next time ~

Oh, if you need a laugh, check this out.  Bahahahhaahahahaha!

Baby Shower

I had the best time. I was resigned to not even have a Baby Shower, this being my second time around. However, I have some very wonderful and generous people in my life who took the time and effort to do something very special for myself and my family ~ so thank you. From the bottom of my heart.