If it were still just me and Reg, I'd probably just be like, "Hey Boots, grab mommy's Birkin bag. We've got some shopping to do!" I'd have some 20 dollar lip balm in there, along with my ipod that I would have time to listen to and even update, and some awesome new clutch or wallet that doesn't spill out change if it's held upside down because there's a snag in the zipper that holds the change, and it doesn't close all the way - and thanks to me and my large awkward fingers, it never will again. I might throw in a sippy cup and a cute designer cloth diaper for shits and giggles.
And he'd totally do it, (get me my bag) because I'd have more time to teach him the art of fetching things for me when I ask him to, as opposed to snatching things from me when I'm not looking. Like the remote. If it were just the two of us. But we've got two under two right now, and these are some wild times. If you saw me in the mornings, you'd think I was a fun (yet slightly older) party girl. Crazy hair, bags under the eyes, and huge boobs.
These days, we don't shop. We go to the grocery store once a week to get milk, because although I am making a lot myself, the toddler gets a different brand. I can't be one of those cool and earthy hippie moms who tandem breastfeeds, I'm just not that good at juggling, also Reggie's a biter. Enough said. Other than the grocery store, we might enjoy the fun and good times had in the Kaiser waiting room, with toddler shrieks, baby squeels, and flying objects. Turns out my son has an incredible throwing arm.
Anyhow. Purse. (Diaper Bag) Contents emptied. It's a new year, time to ditch the bag and downsize just a tad.
Bubbles: Because who knows when we will be broken down on the side of the road, and the first thing I'm going to think is...hey, it's gonna be fine. I have bubbles to keep these babies busy. Yeah, there were 3 of these, and they had all been opened. Fail.
Hair Bands - Not the cool radical kind from the eighties. Just your average old lady hair bands. The kind that pull your hair back. Too many to count. More than I would ever need in a lifetime.
A Truckloadful of Feminine Products: Because while I'm stuck on the side of the road with a broken down vehicle, I am going to be thanking the universe that I remembered to pack a million panty liners and tampons. I always pack my diaper bag with the thought that my car might break down on the side of the road, leaving me stranded with two babies. Always. With wings.
Again, who knows how long we'll be stranded. Just forget the fact that there are NO wipes to be found in the diaper bag. NONE.
There were six of these. A fun stacking toy for the toddler. Many uses for these things.
Why do I even pack toys. He could care less.
Don't ask.
Money! How the hell did that get in there?
And of course. Snack time. From lord knows when ago. So many of these hovering around the bottom of the bag, among a sea of old receipts, pay stubs, stickers, and to do lists......speaking of lists. I found this gem.
One of these does not belong....I just can't figure out which.
